Your kids aren’t the only people looking forward (or maybe not) to hitting the playground this year. It’s back to school time not only for the kids, but for the Mommy Cliques too. If you have to ask what a Mommy Clique is, you most likely have a child entering Kindergarten or have homeschooled up until recently, remaining blissfully unaware of the Darwinian process of natural selection that occurs amongst the Mommy crowd. If you can’t keep up, you will get eaten (or, less dramatically, your child won’t get invited to little Billy’s big Go Bananas blow out and you will be forever worried about his/her self esteem).

In order to full embrace the Mommy Clique, you need to find yourself a spot in one of the many groups and sub-groups that exist amongst the school crowd. You thought you left high school long ago? Think again.

The Entirely Organic Crowd

Peep into a conversation with this group and you will be sure to walk away with a complex. What, you didn’t wash that apple back in 2005? Well, you can be almost POSITIVE that you exposed your child to all kinds of pesticides! Did you know that strawberries are the absolute worst for harmful chemicals? Well they are, just because those tiny little seed holes harbor all sorts of things. It’s recommended that you spend an hour picking out the seeds then give that fruit a good washing in some antibacterial before handing it over to you child.  Yes, that’s my son over there. Isn’t his tshirt cute? It says, “Meat Kills. Beets Rule.” His birthday party will be at the vegetable farm where we will discover the beauty of composting for fun and profit.

Perfection on the Playground

You’ll see these people long before they see you. They look perfectly nice, and they probably are, but it’s their attire that might put you off a bit. Tight, tight tops, perfectly done hair, and full on makeup at not even 8 am. These women must toss an Eggo at their kids in the morning and spend an hour in front of the tiny mirror attachment in their bathroom. Spending time with these ladies, you might discuss makeup, who has a boob job and where to get one, or rampant exercise programs. You may feel hopelessly inadequate. Those with low self esteem and an inability to pick up a brush before 9 in the morning should probably steer clear.

Super Gossips

Ouch! Do you feel your ears burning? Although the feeling of burning ears is most likely due to the fact that you didn’t put sunscreen on them before you tried your latest updo, you could subscribe to the old addage and realize that someone just might be talking about you. Rest assured, you have done nothing to warrant this senseless chatter. If you analyzed the Super Gossips you’d realize that they are just bored or really want to capture that feeling of popularity from their youth. You know, back when it was OK to gossip because you were 15 and the ramification was nothing more severe than losing a friend for 2 days. These days, if a Super Gossip talks or texts (yes, the Gossip has an automatic weapon and that is their cell phone. It can spread gossip from one end of the playground to the other in less than 60 seconds) too much, there could be a Super Big Gossip Cat Fight.

Volunteer O’Rama

These are the ladies (and sometimes the men) that volunteer for everything. Bake sale? Put me down for 20 pies. Door to Door chocolates? My kid will sell 2000 boxes, just you wait and see. They head the school parent council, they man the car wash, they can occasionally make you feel bad for not contributing enough. Realize that these people are Type A personalities and they live for this crap. Enjoy them, they take the load off of the rest of the school population.

So, where do you fit in?

My advice for those just starting out or wanting to break into some sort of Mommy Clique (It’s for the children after all):

• Skid along the edges of school society.
• Be friendly with everyone.
• Keep your mouth shut if you just found out that someone had Botox or if a kid lost control of his or her bladder in the corner of the playground. It’s not funny anyway, and you’ll feel worse for spreading things around.
• Invite every single kid in your kid’s class to their birthday party. See which Moms you like the best and have the most in common with.
• Don’t believe everything you hear about other people. That lady who just picks up and drops off her kids might have a stressful life, a sleeping baby, or 2 jobs to support her family. Don’t judge.
• Volunteer for things that don’t make you feel overwhelmed.
• Wash your apples. It might be a pain in the butt sometimes but it takes away your stress.
• Don’t give out your cell phone number to anyone.

And most importantly, follow the elementary school rule: Be yourself. Just be sure to be the self you are now and not the self that you were in high school. Believe me, its easy to revert when under this kind of pressure.

Admit it: You’ve snuck into your kid’s bedroom or playroom and discretely placed toys in a garbage bag or box, ready to haul them out of your house without your child knowing. We’ve all done it, some more than others. Although it might give you a sense of excitement to use your stealth like tip toeing skills, the fact of the matter is that if your child saw you you’d probably ditch that bag and run away mumbling something about getting carried away in your cleaning.

One one hand, if you never threw anything away you’d be one of those people featured on an episode of hoarders. You’d be that crazy lady who, instead of scooping up cat litter from every surface for possible reuse, is instead grabbing little tiny bits of Lego and cackling because all of the mess has caused you to fracture with reality.

If you do manage to grab a bag of stuff out of your kid’s room, whether that be clothes, toys, or even the coveted Lego, you don’t have to just throw it all away. No, no, you can actually sell some of this stuff for cold, hard cash. Note that I said ‘some.’ In my years of experience selling kid’s stuff, I have long since known the golden rule: Not everything is worth selling.

No matter if you are new to the world of selling items you no longer need or a jaded professional, here are a few tips to help you sell your kid’s crap for fun and profit:

• Know where to sell it: There are many places to sell online, including eBay, Craigslist, Facebook, and various classified platforms. All of these places will allow you to sell your kid’s stuff fairly quickly and easily. When I was big into selling my kid’s stuff, I started a website dedicated to it called Kidswap.ca (no longer online). Luckily, there are many, many other websites out there that do the same thing Kidswap did, but if I were you I’d stick to the large sites with a lot of traffic.
• Know how to price it: Yes, you might have paid $50 for that pretty Gap dress, but you aren’t going to get that back. Try $5 or $10. Generally it works out to be the same as if you would have taken it to a consignment store.
• Know that people are going to try to get it for less: Even when you are priced fairly, someone will still ask you to give it to them for less. I find dickering over what I feel are fair prices to be really repellent. For example, I listed a $100 exersaucer and a $50 walker on Craigslist recently. Thinking that a fair price for each was $15 (these things are in mint condition), I listed them. Low and behold, I began getting emails asking me if I would sell them both for $10! As in, $5 each. This strikes me as unbelievable, and I am still staring at both of these baby items as the stubborn mule in me refuses to just hand them off for nothing.
• Know that sometimes, it’s better to just give it away: There are so many charities out there that accept second hand items. You might find that the difficulty level of selling certain things (boxes of clothes, etc.) means you don’t have time to go through the process. I find that I give away more than I sell, and you have the added bonus of feeling good about helping others. It’s also a nice way to part ways with toys that are no longer played with, as you can tell your kid you are giving it to someone else who will love and play with it.

If you have any buying or selling (or just giving away) tips for your kid’s stuff, share in the comments below.

If you have a business, no matter how small, you are going to need a website of some kind. In a world where social networking is much the same as walking up to someone and shaking their hand, having a website is just the same as handing out a business card.

Yet websites are one of the things that parents who are running or just starting a business will struggle with, if only because the perception is that creating one will cost you a lot of time and money. Sure, 5 or 10 years ago, there wasn’t the plethora of resources out there to create a website on your own. You would have to learn HTML, Dreamweaver, or even coding (for bigger websites) all on your own.

I started my first website in 1997, right after I bought my first computer. To think that computer cost me $2000 and it was the equivalent of a Commodore 64? It boggles the mind.  My website was about Canadian Christmases, and it was full of icons and graphics, all steaming down one page. I do believe I even added a Christmas midi file, just for kicks. It took me a month of struggle and trying to figure it out by myself, but I prevailed. And then I forgot about it.

In 2003, I started another website. http://www.kidswap.ca (the site is no longer posting ads, but you can still see the Media I received here) was a buy and sell for new and used kid’s clothing, toys, etc. It was quite succesful. I put it up, taught myself how to code in PHP, and marketed it on my own. When I finally took it down in 2009, it had thousands of users and had posted over 50,000 ads.

Kidswap, ultimately, became a life lesson for me, and is the reason that I feel qualified to offer advice on building websites as well as what to avoid. I’ll assume you already own a domain name (if not, Domains at Cost is a great place for domains) and have your own hosting (Interxstream is a reliable hosting provider in the US that I’ve used for years).

If you have a website, are looking to get a website, or just want to know what to avoid when trying to change your website, here is my two cents in reply to some of the questions I’ve been asked:

Should I create a website using a company like Weebly or Wixx?

Average cost: $40 per year

This question really should be, Can I create a good website using a company like Weebly or Wixx, and my answer would be no. Here’s why: A template website from a company like Weebly looks like a template website. Yes, it’s easy for you because you drag and drop the elements around the page, it is easy to add photos and text, and it’s just….simple. But simple isn’t always a good thing.

I’m not suggesting you create a flash website (please don’t) or that you need a high-tech site just to look professional, but someone  who has been around the Web for awhile can tell when a site comes from Weebly or Wixx. Also, if you opt in for one of their ‘professional’ plans, you will end up paying a minimum of $40 per year for that website (a professional plan will remove the Wixx and Weebly logos from your site, so that people don’t know that you created a free website).

 Should I hire a web designer to create my website?

Average cost: $2000 and up

It’s up to you. How much money do you have and do you, for example, have a complicated website that needs a certain look? Then yes, hire a web designer.

A word of warning: Hiring a web designer is not the same as hiring a programmer. A web designer will design your website, a programmer will make your web site work.

Here is what you will get when you hire a web designer:

• A site template, tailored to your look or brand
• Possibly a logo, but it will cost you extra
• A template file, perhaps still in Adobe Photoshop format, that you will have to hire someone else to actually get it online

You could find a web designer that will actually put your site up for you. You might even find one that will give you the entire website with content and everything, but you might not. Make sure you ask these questions before hiring a web designer:

• What do I receive for my money?
• Will you put the site online so it’s ready for me to add content?
• Will you add content?
• If you do not deliver the website when you have stated you will, what is my refund policy? (Be very clear with this, it happens alllll the time)

Long story short, research your web designer, be clear as to what you are getting for your money, and get it all in writing.

Should I use a content management system for my website?

Content Management System: $0

Theme: $20-100

I cannot overemphasize how simple it is to create a nice looking website with content management software, and in most cases, it’s free to use. WordPress is one of the most popular content management systems around, and although most people associate it with blogging, it can produce some beautiful, easy to manage websites.

If you don’t have a lot of experience with websites, installing WordPress and purchasing a professionally designed theme (Google WordPress themes and you come up with free or paid options) can have you up and running in under a day. Not only that, it will look professional, be easy to update and add content too, and be optimized for Google and other search engines almost instantly.

It’s a no-brainer that you if you want to do business these days, you need a website. These days, when you meet a possible client or someone wants to employ you, you better believe they will turn to Google and be searching for any and all references to you. Your website is often your first and last shot to make a good impression, and you want to be sure that what you put online is an accurate representation of how you want to be portrayed.

In the land of the Internet, there exists more websites that are willing to take your money and give you nothing in return than there are legitimate companies. And the people that have created these websites are smart. So smart in fact, that they will come out at the top of the search engines for the keywords you are looking for. This is why when you search for “How can I work from home?” you will find a treasure trove of websites right at the top that are completely misleading and full of scammy people.

That being said, there are legitimate ways you can work from home using skills that you already have. Freelance based websites are all over the Web, and they post a wide variety of jobs every single day. And no, it shouldn’t cost you a dime to start working.

However, a word of warning about using freelance websites for work. It will be a long, long, long time before you start making enough money to quit your day job, if ever. If you are a mom who just wants to make a few extra dollars per week, this is a good opportunity for you. If your family relies on your secondary income, it might be difficult to generate the kind of money you need.

In that light,this week we’ll focus on:

Odesk.com

There is no fee to sign up for Odesk. If you find a job, they will take a portion of your income (it’s very small).

I’ve worked on Odesk for over 3 years, sometimes for as many as 20 hours per week. When I signed up, Odesk wasn’t as popular as it is now, and I found work writing press releases quite quickly.

There are quite a few categories for freelancers on Odesk, from computer programming to data entry. I focused on content writing, as in blog posts, press releases, and articles. To get your first job on Odesk, you must:

• Create a good profile – Highlight your experience and portfolio if you have one. Make yourself stand out.
• Bid Low – Although you want to make over $20 per hour, you have to start with small jobs first. It’s more difficult than ever to find a small job given that some people will literally bid $2 for 1000 words. Don’t bid that low, you are worth more. Bid only what you would be willing to actually make per hour. Your time is worth more than $2.
• Aim to please – If you can continue to get 5 star feedback, you will continue to get job offers.

I’ve found some of my best clients via Odesk, and still work for them in some capacity or another.

The Good: It’s free to sign up, and free to bid on jobs.
The Bad: You will have to give people a reason to hire you instead of Joe Blow who is literally working for $3 per hour.
The Ugly: You will find more jobs posted that ask you to work for pennies per word or hour than you will find legitimate companies.

My advice? Don’t quit your dayjob to work on a freelance site.

If you have time, focus on picking up a small job here and there. Build up a portfolio. Eventually, with enough legitimate clients of your own, you can start picking up jobs everywhere.

Survive Parenthood Magazine focuses on tips and tricks that can help you survive the often stressful times of parenthood. At the same time, we recognize that there are moments that you just need to pick up your socks and survive the bumpy times that hit your marriage. And that must be why that the single most goggled phrase that seems to bring people here is “Things Not To Say To My Spouse.”

After the hysterical laughter died down, we began to think that perhaps there are some people out there who really need help with this. We’ve written an article on 3 things to never say to your wife after she has had your baby and it seems to be a crowd favorite, bringing in almost as many people as Casey Anthony did.

As any parenting magazine will profess, we want families to stay together. Imagine causing marital strife just because you simply didn’t know that you said something really, really dumb. It would be horrible, so we are here to help.

We will assume that those Goggling are male, and that they have already possibly put their foot in it and are trying to work their way out of the dog house.

And so, in honor of those frantic searchers, we present in no particular order, 3 things never to say to your wife:

 You look sort of fat in that outfit

Where shall I begin? Number one, if your spouse asks you this question, you are already doomed to failure. You must know that she could possibly be feeling insecure about her outfit or is looking for compliments. Maybe her pants are a little too tight, or she’s never successfully found her waistline after bearing your most recent child. No matter, because the only appropriate comment to make when asked this question is, “No, not at all! You look great!”  You may think about your honest assessment quietly to yourself, but you must never say it. As long as it doesn’t come out of your mouth, you are safe.

What do you do all day anyway?

This statement is usually in response to you walking in the door and discovering that the house is a mess and there is no dinner on the table for you. Or worse, there is dinner and it is Mac and Cheese or Macdonalds. Your wife looks frazzled, your kids are dirty, and you have no idea how 9 hours could have passed in your house and not a single thing has changed.

Resist the urge to comment. Until you spend an entire day in the house, you have no idea what could possibly occur in there. Maybe she played outside with the kids all day, maybe she worked in the garden, or maybe she just didn’t feel like cleaning. If you don’t feel like cleaning, why should she?

You don’t work. You have more free time than I do.

In the land where you live, does beer flow from the rivers and pretzels rain from the sky? No? Then we will assume you live on earth with the rest of us. There is no way to adequately explain how being a mother is a 24/7, 365 day a year job. How your spouse can go from changing a diaper, to wiping a nose, to cleaning up a pile of blocks all in 5 minutes. And if she does have a moment in her day that isn’t taken up by kids, chances are she’s thinking about them or planning something for them. Free time? Ha. Ha. It is to laugh.

When a man has free time, they really have free time. They turn off their cell phones and go and do something that makes them happy. Whether that be golfing, swimming, hiking, biking, or running. Your brain is trained on what you are doing, and I’d wager that you aren’t thinking about what is going on at home.

Motherhood can be overwhelming. Don’t contribute to the conflicting emotions. Unless, of course, your couch is really comfy.

We hope that you the aforementioned hints are helpful to you. And here is one more bonus tip: Think before you open your mouth. Weigh the pros and cons. If it sounds bad in your head, there is no doubt that it will ricochet off the walls of your house and shoot you in the foot.

When you’ve got kids, the basic career path you’ve envisioned for yourself goes straight out the window. Yes, you might still be able to go to work and pay for daycare, commuting, and all of the wonderful extra expense that goes into having a full time job and a full time family. But your stress level will be on overload for, oh just a ballpark estimate, the next 20 years?

And that is why there are over 3 million global searches each month for the phrase, “How to work from home.” When working from home, you cut down on daycare (right?), commuting expenses, and you can live the lifestyle where you work in your PJ’s. You imagine rolling out of bed, popping a TV show on for the kids while they play quietly, and actually having a few uninterrupted hours of working.  Yet the reality of working at home isn’t quite what you might expect.

Survive Parenthood Magazine will be working on a series of articles highlighting working at home and the type of legitimate work at home jobs you can find online and off. We’ll be interviewing cake decorators, graphic designers, web developers, e commerce websites, photographers, dog breeder, and other businesses started by moms just like you. How much can you make by creating a website? What do you have to do to become a working photographer? You ask, we answer.

We will also cover the following work at home opportunities online:

• Freelance writing
• Virtual Assistant
• Data Entry
• Medical Transcription

And offline, like Avon, Pampered Chef, and other direct sales. How much money can you actually make doing these types of jobs?

What would the world be without scams? There are so many work at home scams out there, some you know of, some you don’t. There are even people in legitimate businesses who prey on those who want to work at home. Watch Survive Parenthood in the next few weeks for what to avoid when you are looking for a work at home job.

Yes, it is possible to work at home. Is it a slam dunk? Not by a long shot. But by having the proper information, you can go into it with your eyes wide open and a leg up on the competition.

Watch for our Work from Home Series, coming soon on Survive Parenthood Magazine.

Part three of the Canada to California road trip has us heading from Valencia to Watsonville, then onto San Francisco.

There is just something about California that makes me feel at peace with the world. Prior to this road trip, I had never strayed from the I5, so I had no idea what the coastal roads were really like. Once we left Valencia, we began our drive toward the coast. The kids, at this point, were really mellow after a day at Six Flags, so it was a pleasant drive for about 3 hours.

Hour four of the cruise had us going through some mountain range of some kind. I couldn’t tell you where we were, only that it was dark, I could see the moon reflecting off of water occasionally, and that everyone was giddy from driving and exhaustion.

Although we had planned on getting to Santa Cruz, we ended up stopping in Watsonville, California. Watsonville is a cute little town that is a hop, skip, and a jump away from Santa Cruz. We checked into the Holiday Inn Express (again).

Funny thing about certain hotel rooms and certain hotels. Some of them come with a doorbell. For us, this is one of the oddest things we’ve ever come across in hotel rooms (and I’ve seen a lot of weird things in hotels). When my husband went back out to the car to get our luggage, he came back and decided to ring the doorbell. He was trying to be funny.

Turns out that doorbell sounds an awful lot like a fire alarm, and my 7 year old has a full on phobia of fire (I have no idea why, I blame television). When that door bell shrieked, he lost his mind. I think everyone on our floor heard him. I alternated between laughing and comforting him.

Bright and early the next morning, we headed toward San Francisco.

And here is where the road trip became an actual road trip. Sometimes you just want to go where the wind blows you, and there is literally no better place to do that than the California coastline. Because of the kids and their limited attention span, we didn’t stop at half the places I wanted to. You could literally crawl your way down the coast and discover something new every hour. One of the places I’m sorry I missed was Hearst Castle. The other was the Walt Disney Family Museum in San Francisco.

But the thing about California? It’s not really about where you didn’t get to go, its more about where you do end up. And I ended up at a beach that was so beautiful that the thought of it makes me smile, even to this day. The best part? There are many, many beaches just like it up and down the coast line, so if you finish with one, there is another up the road.

After a few hours at the beach, we drove straight through to San Francisco. It was burning hot that day, and we had no plans to spend a lot of time in San Francisco other than seeing the Golden Gate Bridge and peeking over at Alcatraz. We did make a pit stop at Fisherman’s Wharf for what was probably a half hour, then drove over the bridge. My eyes were squeezed shut for the majority of the time.  It was big, scary, and felt like it would never end.

Once you drive out of San Francisco, you inch your way across the Napa Valley. We continued through there to Redding, California, home of not much and the place where I was finally finished with driving. The only problem? We were still about 10 hours from home.

There were a few memorable moments, when driving through the mountains, that my van’s thermostat inched higher and higher. Even with the windows open, it was a blast furnace. Temperatures outside were at least 110.

The entire next day we drove, stopping here and there. When we finally entered the Portland area, we pulled over at a beautiful local park for dinner. I think a few of the parents who saw us arrive thought we were homeless, because when we opened the van doors stuff fell out into the parking lot.

After that it was drive, drive, drive, until we arrived at the border. The entire day was a blur. When we finally pulled up at our house, we had been gone from home for 2 weeks. Too bad we couldn’t find the house key and had to crawl though a window to get in.

The cost of the trip actually worked out to be slightly more than if we flew there.  I know, even I can’t believe that one, but when you factor in the cost of extra hotels and staying onsite at Disneyland, it really adds up.

Would I do a Canada to California road trip again?

Yes, but only in an RV or a huge bus of some kind. Something where you could pull over wherever you needed to and rest. A home away from home, with wheels and a bathroom.

Was it worth it? Definitely. That trip is full of memories with my kids that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

After all, what’s a little aggravation here and there. You only live once.

For even more Disneyland tips and secrets, visit the first installment in our guide to Disneyland

Part Two of our Road trip from Canada to California via the I5. Today’s installment takes us away from Disneyland as we attempt to get on the coastal hwy but get sidetracked by Six Flags Magic Mountain

We join our family preparing to pack up the van after a five day stay at the Grand Californian Resort. It’s 95 degrees and even under the shaded entry way, it feels as though you could poach an egg on the pavement.

After a week of sun, fun, and Disney adventure, it was time to pack up the van and head back out. You know how when you pack for a road trip, no matter how much space you think you have before you leave, you have even less when you are heading home? Yes, that was us, stuffing our van’s cargo hold full of half inflated balloons and empty RideMakerZ boxes that they couldn’t bear to leave behind. The Disney people, bless them, even helped us out a bit, but it’s still a bit embarrassing to be that family with the overflowing car and sobbing children (OK, that was mostly me, but I would live there if I could).

Back on the road, we began our drive at approximately 5 pm, stopping at Boston Market for dinner and then heading out toward the beach. We found a place to pull over, and to this day I’m not even sure where we were. But it was breathtakingly beautiful, and brings me to one of my favorite parts of road trips. Undiscovered treasures that you most likely would never see if you were just doing the tourist thing or running to catch a plane.

This is why I love California

After watching the sunset, we drove to Valencia and found ourselves a hotel. For overnight pitstops, I cannot recommend Holiday Inn Express enough. You can find them everywhere, they are clean, family friendly, and the continental breakfast is really decent. As we drove, we sought them out on our GPS and only stopped when we found one. We never made reservations, just walked in and asked for a room. An added bonus is that they are so much the same, the kids were really comfortable when we stopped. There was no trying to get them used to a new room, etc. when they mostly looked the same.

Waking up the next morning, we looked out across the parking lot at the glowing red roller coaster in the distance. Six Flags, Magic Mountain was 10 minutes away from our hotel, and although we were going to spend the day driving to the coast, we threw the schedule out the window and hit the park.

The Flash and Aquaman smile with my son right before he makes a pit stop in the bathrooms. Hope he washed his hands!

Never having been to Six Flags, I was sort of surprised by it. Yes, they have really amazing rides, and its so big that it is impossible to do everything in a few hours. However, if you’ve just spent 5 days in squeaky clean, uber-themed Disneyland, Six Flags can come across as kind of seedy. Seedy to the point of being really, really funny.  I’ve never laughed as hard at a ‘character’ than when my kids took a picture with The Flash and Aquaman, then Aquaman excused himself to use the facilities. The very same facilities that my son and husband were currently using. Then, he washed his hands in the sink right beside my son. This not only begs the question why is a watery super hero washing his hands, but also destroys the magic of the meeting if you get my drift.  Can’t say I’ve ever watched Mickey duck into the bathroom, but at Six Flags anything goes.

While my husband ran from roller coaster to roller coaster, the kids and I spent some time riding the Bugs Bunny and Tweety rides. I jumped on Batman myself, and had a great time. It was relatively empty, but the blazing hot sunshine is amplified by the 110 degree temperature. Given that there was no air conditioned spots to eat or just pop inside (unlike Disney, there is literally no where to get out of the heat and sunshine), we stayed as long as we could. When sunstroke threatened, we headed out.

There is nothing quite like driving after being at an amusement park for the entire day. It makes you sleepy, and the kids crashed soon after. We headed down the Hwy toward the coast, destination Santa Cruz or somewhere very close to there. At this point in the road trip, we’d been away from Anaheim for a day and were still only 3 hours outside of LA.

Tomorrow, Part 3 of the Great California road trip: Driving the California coastline back to Canada

And if you’ve missed it, check out Part One: I5 from Vancouver To Disneyland

For even more Disneyland tips and secrets, visit the first installment in our guide to Disneyland

It’s Canada to California or bust. Complete with 4 kids packed into a Pontiac Montana minivan, we hit the open road. The goal? To survive the roadtrip to Disneyland

Ah, road trips. Aren’t road trips really just one of those things that look good on paper? The windows open, streaming in the sunshine and the summer breeze, the music playing, and the endless open road in front of you. Sounds great doesn’t it?

Now, insert a child or two (or four in my case) into this fantasy and see what you get. Oh, but you’ll have coloring books and a DVD player. That will ensure endless hours of quiet and happiness for all, right?

Um, no. If you have even just one kid, the idea of a road trip is far more appealing on paper than it ever could be in real life. And I should know, because my last road trip was a crazy journey down the I5 from Vancouver to Anaheim, California.  If you are considering this type of excursion, even for a minute, you need to know what you are in for.

Let’s start with a list of Pros for such a trip:

Pros:

• You don’t have to fly, therefore you don’t have to pay exorbitant baggage fees or ridiculous airfare costs out of Vancouver.
• You don’t have to rent a car once you get there. You already have yours, although it will be full of MacDonalds wrappers and/or coffee cups
• If you drive, you save more on travel and can justify staying at the Grand Californian Resort like I did.
• You get to see the California and Oregon landscape, up close and personal.
• You get to spend hours of family time whilst you are locked up in a moving vehicle. Think of all the travel games you can play (Look, another blue car. Score one for mom! ha ha!) and scenery you can share with your children.

See, it looks fantastic on paper. FAN-TAS-TIC. And it is with this attitude that we departed on a blazing hot August evening in 2010.

First things first, driving from Vancouver to Disneyland is a long haul. You can take one of two routes after you drive through Washington and bypass Seattle (Tip: Be sure to point out the Harbor in Seattle, where the Space Needle is. At night, the lights off of the buildings are beautiful).  The I5 continues straight through Oregon into California, or you can take the coastal hwy and view truly breathtaking scenery the entire way.  Because we wanted to get there and worry about the ocean on the way back, we took the I5.

Statistics

• Actual driving distance: 1303 miles or 2097 km
• Actual driving time according to Google: 21 hours, 37 minutes
• Real driving time with 4 children in the backseat: 25 hours, not including stops
• Actual tanks of gas: 6 at approximately $50 USD per tank

The I5 is just a road, a long and windy road that will make you feel as though it will never end. As you pass through Washington (beautiful, green, possibly rainy, scenic) and into Oregon (beautiful, still green, only has full service gas stations and you can’t pump your own gas there), you will eventually hit the tip of California before heading into the mountains.Right around this time, if you have been driving almost all night the way we were, you will wish there was a sliding glass window developed just for minivans. Something to block out the “Are we there yet?” questions as well as the possible smell of caged up people.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was driving through the high mountain road right at the entrance to California. The California landscape is so diverse that it can range from forests to prairies and oceans.

By this point in the trip, the kids have given up the DVD player, they’ve eaten everything they can get their hands on, and they’re staring sullenly out the window wondering when they are going to see the Matterhorn looming. I don’t have the heart to tell them we are still 12 hours away.

And this is the sad part of a road trip from Canada to California. Although 21 hours doesn’t look like a lot of time and you can delude yourself into thinking it will fly by, in reality it is so long that the halfway point doesn’t even feel like an accomplishment. If you have the time, take 3 days to make the trip. Stay in a hotel and break it up. There are lots of scenic places to stop in California, and you’ll feel less crazed.

In our case, we had hotel reservations we had to get to, so we pushed it and kept going.

There are numerous rest stops on the I5. Although you might think these are for truckers and shady characters, you can be sure that the rest stops are actually really family friendly. We stopped at several that had nice grassy spots for kids and pets, along with vending machines, free coffee, and water fountains. They are a veritable oasis in the middle of the blazing hot California landscape, and I recommend you stop as many times as you need to. Its nice as a way to break up the day.

Many, many hours later (and several rounds of Disney movies or Dora the Explorer, a few iPods practically chucked out the windows, a stop at TacoBell complete with an open bathroom door and a view of an older lady using the facilities which sparked one of the most hilarious conversations I’ve ever had with my 8 year old son, and a new fun activity called “Word of the Day” with the first word being ‘Burrito’), we arrive on the outskirts of LA. The time? 10pm.

Here’s a fun fact about arriving in Los Angeles. You will be filled with euphoria. You made it! Right? Wrong. You are still at least an hour and a half away.

LA is huge. For someone coming from Vancouver who has never been there (I have, but you might not have), its mind-boggling huge. You enter near Six Flags Magic Mountain, but you still need to get through the various suburbs, freeways, and insane LA traffic (yes, even at 10pm at night) before you arrive in Anaheim. Luckily, the kids had passed out again, so we were able to stress less about sitting in a sea of headlights. I spent the time hoping I could see the Hollywood sign (no, its not lit up at night) and waiting for the Anaheim exit.

When we finally arrived, it was midnight, but we were there.

Tomorrow on Survive Parenthood Magazine, Part 2: The journey back from Anaheim to Canada. This time with hotels on the way. Stay tuned.

For even more Disneyland tips and secrets, visit the first installment in our guide to Disneyland

Worried about the summer sun? Protect your kids this summer by knowing the right type of sunscreen to buy and how much to use

In the 1990′s, tanning beds were THE thing to do. For many of the current 40 somethings, wrinkly, dry, leathery skin was light years away and the idea of using sunblock was laughable. If you weren’t into tanning beds, you’d hit the beach. Laying out on the beach with the scent of coconut oil wafting in the air,  you’d see people lined up for miles essentially cooking like a turkey basting in the oven.

Many of these sun-worshipers are parents now, and can’t imagine sending their children out to fry in the sun. And with good reason. Research has indicated that over exposure to the sun results in an increase in skin cancers and melanoma. Instead of covering ourselves in what is essentially vegetable oil, we pull out the floppy hats and sunscreen before we hit the beach.

The F.D.A recently announced new rules and regulations to govern the use and marketing of sunscreen, and that is good news for parents who are trying to protect their kids from harmful UV rays.

What does sunscreen protect against?

With the new regulations in place, the F.D.A has mandated that sunscreen must protect against both UVB (results in burning, itching from sun poisoning, and can cause cancer.) and UVA (causes you to wrinkle up like a Shar Pei long before its your turn to wrinkle, as well as causing cancer). When the sunscreen you use states that it is ‘broad spectrum’ it will protect against both UVA and UVB.

What type of sunscreen should I use on my kid?

Using common sense, you know that a SPF of 2 isn’t going to do much to protect you or your children from the sun. Most baby and child geared sunscreen is labeled at SPF 50, so it is a safe bet to use a broad spectrum product of SPF 50 for your kids this summer.

How much sunscreen should I put on my child?

Use a trowel.

No really, you don’t have to put it on that thick, but studies have shown that most consumers do not put it on as much sunscreen as they should. Read the back of the bottle for advice or instructions, and when in doubt, add a little more and be sure that they are covered.

Other ways that I can protect my child from sunburn?

Summer is for sunshine and beach time, so its not easy to keep your kids protected from harmful UVB and UVA. If you plan on a full day in the sun, be sure to try a few of these tips:

• Buy your kids a rashguard swimshirt with a UPF protection rating of 50. You can buy them at Old Navy or most department stores
• Stay out of the sun after 11 am and don’t go back in until 2 pm. If you can’t stay out of the sun, get an umbrella or a portable hut and put it up.
• Be sure you kids have a hat on at all time
• Don’t be fooled by clouds. Your child can still turn as bright as a lobster after playing all day when its cloudy

Summer is finally here, and although we certainly have more to worry about than our parents generation (I’m pretty sure I spent entire summers outside while my mom watched soap operas), we also have more resources to protect our kids. Use common sense, and when in doubt, ask your doctor for advice.