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Spring can be a nasty time of year, just because its a reminder that we’re all really sick of old man winter and are impatiently waiting for the warmth and sunshine the Universe clearly isn’t ready to hand over quite yet. And, even worse, it’s that time when we’re seeing the new shorts, tank tops, and cute little shirts (except for the neon stuff. Seriously, I was happy to leave neon pink pants firmly back in my childhood. The horror of trying a pair of those on now would scar me for the rest of my life) that we’re dying to try on for size to see if they a.) Still fit, and b.) make us look flabby.

Even if it doesn’t look or feel like Spring out there, it’s going to sneak up on you before you know it. With Spring and Summer comes kids outside, playing in the park, and enjoying ourselves at the beach. When you have extra Winter weight holding you back, you can’t feel as healthy as you’d like. This Spring, do more for yourself than simply thinking, ‘I want to be skinny”. Focus on being healthy instead.

So go ahead and do your research – Buy a few apps, join a fitness club, or grab yourself a jogging stroller, then follow a few of these really simple (so simple you’ve probably thought of them but maybe you just need a reminder) tips to get started on the road to a healthier you right now.

Let the cat eat the waffles

I have a Ragdoll kitten. She arrived at Christmas time, brought by Santa and placed in the loving arms of my daughter. Since she has come to live with us, we’ve been taught a few things about receiving a pet from the North Pole. For one, if you watch Elf, you know that their food groups are slightly different than ours. An example? According to Buddy the Elf, syrup is a big part of their daily diet. Clearly the North Pole pet shop is on the same program, because our cat Belle thinks that waffles and syrup are the best thing going. The kids will finish half a waffle and leave it on the table, then Belle will move in all stealth like and try to get to the waffles. Sometimes she succeeds. She’ll attack anything sweet, including canisters of whip cream that we were planning on using for hot chocolate.

The point I’m making here? Sometimes, when the kids leave food on the table, you may be tempted to eat it. It’s the kind of eating we, as parents, do without even thinking. Something left on your plate? Send it over to Dad. Half a bowl of Mac & Cheese? Mom will clean it up on the way to the dishwasher.

A very small step you can make in the right direction as far as health improvement/weight loss? When there is left over food on the table, let someone else eat it. Maybe not the cat, but definitely not yourself.

Green Shakes

I’ve seen pictures of Green Shakes before. McDonalds has one which I haven’t tried since I was a kid, mostly because, well I just can’t drink that stuff anymore than I can put a McRib sandwich anywhere near my mouth. No, thank you. The Green Shakes I’m talking about are healthy, easy to make, and include things like Kale and Spinach. And here’s the most surprisingly thing – They taste really, really good and you stay seriously full for a long time.

If you replace even one meal a day with a shake like this, you’ll see an inch or two melt off before you know it. Just put a cup of Activa non-fat yogurt in a blender with half a cup of skim milk and one scoop of protein powder. Then add Blueberries, fresh peaches, strawberries, and a good old handful of Kale and Spinach. It won’t look overly green and it won’t taste green either.

Want to see how long it keeps you full? Make a note of when you drank it and then note when you’re hungry again. You’ll see, it’s completely worth it. You can buy a big bag of pre-washed “Power Greens” in your local grocery store.

Go to sleep instead of eating late at night

I don’t know about you, but it used to be that late at night when I was working, the Cookie Monster in my house would come out and Me Wanted Cookie. And without anyone around to tell me not to or distract me, me ate a lot of Cookies. Or Mini-Wheats, whatever was handier. So just once, I decided to go to bed hungry instead of full of Cookie, and an amazing thing happened.

I slept better. Obviously when you don’t have to process a lot of sugary junk while you are sleeping, you don’t have bad dreams and your body is able to sleep soundly. Unless I have to stay up until 2 am because I have a deadline, if I start to get munchy now I get out of the kitchen and go to bed. And if I do have to stay up, I drink a bottle of flavored water and see if that helps before I start ripping apart the kitchen.  It’s working for me, maybe it will work for you.

Really, it’s not about weight loss is it? It’s about being healthier, feeling better, and having the energy to keep up with your kids. The weight loss is a secondary thing.

What’s your plan for getting fit this Spring? Share it here.

Welcoming a new baby into the world is one of the most exciting times in a parent’s life. Over the course of several months, the nursery has been painted, the wardrobe stocked with tiny clothes, the crib assembled, and the infant car seat adjusted—and readjusted. Sometime in the eighth or ninth month, the hospital bag is packed and eagerly placed by the front door. Everything is ready for the big day. Or is it? There are many things to prepare for when expecting a baby, not the least of which being the actual day of delivery.

Visit Your Hospital

One of the first things to consider when preparing for delivery day is hospital or birthing center protocol. Most medical facilities offer tours to future patients. This helps to ensure that the patient knows where to go when it comes time for admission, as well as to offer peace of mind regarding what to expect during their stay. Taking a tour also provides an opportunity for expecting parents to ask any questions they may have. This would be an ideal time to inquire about pre-admission registration forms, which are often available for pregnant patients to submit well before their due date. This is an excellent idea, as it eliminates having to fill out paperwork and submit medical insurance information while in the throes of labor.

Cord Blood Banking

Another important matter to consider is what to do with the baby’s umbilical cord blood. In the past, the umbilical cord—and the unique blood it contains—were simply discarded after birth. Today, cordbloodbanking makes it possible for a family to save this valuable resource to potentially help treat potential illnesses such as some cancers and immune diseases. In order to ensure that cord blood is properly handled and stored, the Parent’s Guide to Cord Blood Foundation advises parents to choose an accredited cord blood bank in advance since cord blood can only be collected immediately after your baby is delivered.

Making a Birth Plan

A common concern of many pregnant women is what to expect during labor and delivery. While this varies from woman to woman, it is often reassuring to have a birth plan ready. Birth plans can have as much or as little detail as the expecting parents choose, and include the mother’s wishes regarding pain medication, medical interventions, and whether the mother wants to hold or feed the baby directly after birth. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women’s Health recommends discussing your birth plan ahead of time with your doctor or midwife. Although it is a good idea for a pregnant woman to know how her ideal birth would go, it is important to keep in mind that unexpected circumstances may arise, in which case some flexibility may be necessary.

Nine months of excited anticipation leads up to the very rewarding experience of bringing a baby into the world. Whether everything on delivery day goes exactly according to plan or something unanticipated pops up, the key to a positive experience remembering that whatever it takes to safely deliver the baby is well worth it.

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Welcome Meredith Bland to Survive Parenthood Magazine –
Meredith blogs regularly at Pile of Babies: Take a Knee, I Have Nonsense to Spew (http://www.pileofbabies.com). She has been published at Errant Parent and Imperfect Parent.

Only the best for your little princess? Well, it’s time to put your considerable money where your mouth is and plunk down $949.99 (the extra .99 is for extra fancy) for the North Park Mansion kit.

The manufacturer estimates it will take about 40 hours to assemble and finish this stately home, so it’s time to take that week off work you’ve been saving up! And don’t forget to head to the hardware store, as you will need the following tools to build your little darling’s country estate:

“…a hammer, fine-toothed saw, glue, utility knife, masking tape, sandpaper, paint, brushes, screwdriver, ruler, square, and brads.”

I would go ahead and add in the cost of a hotel room, because by the time you get about 27 hours into this little project whoever is helping you build it is not going to want to listen to you breathe, let alone sleep in the same house as you.

Society is seriously a funny thing. In a day and age where 40 is the new 30 and 20 is considered an overgrown child, the fact that more and more women are putting off having kids until they are over 35 isn’t too surprising. But despite this trend for waiting to become a Mom, if you Google “Having a baby over the age of 35″ you are going to come up with some seriously scary results. And among those piles of search terms, you are going to find the term amniocentesis.

Depending on your doctor and how old you are, you’ll be offered a variety of genetic testing before and during your 2nd trimester. If you opt for the Triple Screen or Multiple Marker Screen that tests for Down Syndrome and Spina Bifida amongst other issues, you might just get a good result and relax from there. But if the Triple Screen comes back badly, stating that there is a chance your child has Downs Syndrome or other potential issues, you’ll be referred for an Amnio.

When I was pregnant with my 4th child, I took the Triple Marker test without even considering there would be an issue. When it came back with a 1 in 60 chance of my child having Down Syndrome, I still wanted to avoid having an Amnio. Why? Because it didn’t matter to me one way or the other if the baby had an issue, I’d still continue with the pregnancy. However, you better believe I spent HOURS online, searching for “What’s Amniocentesis really like?” and “1 in 60 Triple Screen”, just to help me prepare for the unknown.

In the end, I had the Amnio. I was guided very gently by a wonderful doctor who wanted me to prepare, especially considering I already had 3 children and it would be more of an adjustment for my family. It really doesn’t matter why you decide to get it or not get it, but if you are in the same boat, faced with an incomplete Triple Screen or Ultrasound and are wondering what an Amniocentesis is really like, I’ll share my experience with you. It might make you feel a little better about what you’re going through.

In Canada, when you get an Amnio done, you will have it in the hospital. My first appointment at the hospital was a simple consultation (although I didn’t know this at the time and was out of my skin with stress). They discussed the procedure, told me the risks, and reviewed my test results with me. I didn’t feel any better walking out of there, and in many cases it made me feel worse. They scheduled the procedure for a week later.

The day of the procedure, I checked myself into the hospital and sat down in the waiting area. When they called my name, I walked in the room and sat down on the bed. There were several people in the room, including the doctor who would be performing the procedure and two other nurses who were manning the equipment.

I stretched out on the table, holding my tummy and waiting. They did a quick ultrasound and found the baby, although the screen was above my head so I couldn’t really see him moving around. It wasn’t one of those lighthearted ultrasounds either, it was more of a “Let’s locate him so we don’t stick him with this huge needle.”

They sanitized my tummy and asked me to lay very still. So I did, and although I barely wanted to breathe at that point, I started to cry. It’s scary to have someone performing such an invasive procedure, and its really scary to think that it could hurt the baby.  The risks of Amnio are many, including preterm labor and delivery, respiratory distress, fetal trauma, and rhesus disease. And every risk they’ve told you about or you’ve read about will crowd into your head when you are waiting for it to be over.

Can you feel the needle? Not really. It does hurt to a point, but not in the way you think. It feels more like a quick sting, some pressure, and it is truly over before you know it. The needle is ultra-thin, even if it is really long, so the pain is minimal.

Once its over, you’ll be asked to relax for a bit and they’ll monitor with an ultrasound. Once you are deemed able to leave, they’ll send you off with strict instructions to not move for a minimum of 24 hours.

Before I left I asked how long it would be until I was able to receive the results, and was told it could be up to a week to 10 days. I’m not much of a waiter. I’ve been known to go slightly crazy over test results from much smaller things, and I knew I’d be a basket case for that week. Luckily, the doctor must have picked up on my half crazy vibe because he told me they could speed up the test and give me the results within 36 hours using what’s known as a FISH test.

I received my all-clear a day and a half later while walking very slowly through a WalMart, looking for Tylenol and chocolate. Despite WalMart being a complete and utter cell phone deadzone, I was able to receive the call while I was in the pastry aisle. He told me the baby did not test positive, and he also let me know with 100% accuracy that my baby was a boy.

I survived an Amnio, and you will too. 2 1/2 years later I have a very healthy, wild and crazy son, and my stress over the positive Triple Screen is a distant memory.

No matter if you have one kid or four, you know that each child develops differently. And because they develop differently, you don’t sweat the small stuff like developmental timelines all that much. Or maybe you do.

A recent study released by the Journal of Pediatrics has given parents a reason to relax over their 2 year old child’s lack of talking. The study found that a lack of forming words at age two has no bearing on future development. In other words, if your child isn’t speaking as much as their little buddy, you don’t need to worry that they will lag behind for the rest of their lives.

In general, the study found that:

• Toddlers who begin speaking later than their peers will not develop future behavior issues. In other words, late talking is not an indicator of how your child will be for the rest of his or her life.
• Although late talkers may exhibit emotional and behavioral problems when they are 2, the problems will dissipate when the child begins talking
• The children in the study were followed until they were 17, and 80% of them were fully talking by the time they entered school.

There are many reputable websites like BabyCenter that will provide you with timelines for development. For example, by the time your child is 18-24 months old, he or she should be (according to BabyCenter) saying somewhere in the range of 50 words. By the time they are two, they should be stringing words together. And that’s great, if your child actually sticks to the timeline.

But here are a few things that timelines won’t tell you:

• Some kids will excel at one area and then lack in another. For example, one child may be able to walk then climb on everything by the time they are 12 months, which is actually above the curve according to the timeline. In this case, their speech may be lagging behind because they are just too darn busy perfecting the climbing (aren’t you lucky) to work on the talking.
• Boys develop certain skills later in life, like talking. This doesn’t apply to all boys, but seems to be a general trend.

If you find your child is not talking by age 2, there are a few things you should immediately check for:

• Has your child had his/her hearing checked? Although it may appear that they can hear you when you are speaking to them, there are different types of hearing that apply to language. Ask your doctor to refer your child for a hearing test.
• Have your child checked for fluid in his/her ears. Frequent ear infections can cause a build up in fluid that results in everything sounding like its underwater. Your child may need tubes to alleviate the fluid.
• Take your child to a speech therapist. In your initial consultation they will look for signs of other issues that may be leading to the speech delay.

It’s stressful wondering why your child isn’t talking by age 2, but there are steps you can take to rule out issues which could be causing the delay. At the end of the day, your child could simply be a late talker.

Stop searching Google and reading Yahoo Answers. Relax, take your baby for a walk or sit down and play with them. Try to talk to them, and then listen. Chances are, your toddler is saying things that you just haven’t deciphered yet.

If I told you how many visitors we get on Survive Parenthood that come here searching for, “What to say to my wife” or “Things I can say to my wife”, you’d be really surprised. The numbers are high.

I wrote an article called “Things you should never say to your wife after she’s had a baby” last year. It was more of a tongue in cheek look at leaving the hospital, but the amount of people looking for real advice has increased dramatically. So I’m going to give you some.

Relationships are part of parenthood, but the relationship between you and your significant other is often one of the first things you’ll stop focusing on after you have kids. Life can get in the way of even the most amazing happily ever afters.

As a woman, I’ll be the first to admit the female gender can be difficult to deal with at times. It boils down to one simple thing: Women look at the world in a different way than men do. And when you have kids, that perspective changes again. It can be hard for a guy to keep up.

After doing some research, sourcing out different books, websites, and opinions, here are 3 very general things that may help you talk/understand/support your wife even if you don’t have kids.

Never say ‘I’m going to do…”and then not do it

I know for a fact that it drives women insane when you say you are going to do something and then get sidetracked. And I understand being sidetracked, it’s easy for that to happen when you have kids running around or your house is in chaos. But when you say you are going to do something like a. Take out the trash, b. Paint the fence, or c. Fold the clothes, your best bet for making your wife happy is to actually go through with it. If you do, it’s a win-win. If you don’t, she’ll silently resent you.  And probably bring it up during another argument. And quite possible make you feel really bad about it.

And you don’t like feeling bad, do you? No you don’t. So be sure to fold those clothes.

Give her a break

The fundamental difference between men and women after parenting is that most women will put the kids first. Their lives change so drastically they will get caught up in the daily grind of taking care of children and they will not come up for air unless you force them. Or the top of their heads blow off, whichever comes first.

You don’t have to stop going out with your friends or stop playing baseball or stop doing what makes you happy. What you have to do is pause before you go do those things, and think about your wife first. Has she been at home all day with a crying baby, has she seemed a little down lately, have you noticed that she’s not managing the house anymore (aka, it’s a disaster). If you notice anything off, anything at all, you should give her the break first. Even if you go home, give her a break, then go out and do your thing, its still far better than just going out and never bothering to check in at home at all.

Open your ears and listen

It’s easy to get into an argument over the most mundane things. Most arguments start because of something that is brewing under the surface. Maybe you were late for dinner. Maybe you left your socks all over the bedroom or didn’t put your plate in the dishwasher. It could be anything really, but the worst thing you can do is come out with guns blazing.

It’s hard to stop and listen to what someone is really saying, but to have a better relationship with your wife all you have to do is say one simple phrase:

“You talk, I’ll listen.”

And then shut your mouth for awhile. Don’t open it again until you can at least understand where she’s coming from. I’m not saying she’s going to be right every time, or you will be right every time, but it’s important to just listen and try to understand. It’s also important for her to listen to you, so be sure you get your say.

There is nothing that feels so diminishing than feeling like no one listens to you. I’ve heard of moms who will tell their story to anyone (at school, on the playground, even their kids), because they don’t feel like the people who love them most are listening.

~~~

I’m not saying these three things are relationship ‘fixers’, but they do go a long way to helping you get along. And some days, getting along is the only thing anyone can ask for.

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  Struggling with winter again this year

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  This is just paper glued onto letters you can buy in Michaels. Too cute!

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If you are like me, you have a bucket list tucked away somewhere. On my list are many, many things that I’d like to accomplish (and not before I die, simply before I get too old to do them and just want to nap all day or perhaps before my teeth fall out. My Grandma always told me steak was never the same after she lost her front four).

Among those things include random travel requests like “Go to Europe” and “Take a Disney Cruise”. Others are not so cut and dry. For example, ‘Write a novel” would mean I had to actually finish one of the three books I’ve started writing (and I WILL do that, just as soon as I shake a few of these kids off my legs for an entire week and land myself on a tropical island with no access to Facebook or Twitter).

My current favorite, “Move to a small farm where I can have horses, cows, and possibly a llama” is quite possible, but at this time slightly difficult to manage (for one, I cannot possibly conceive of packing up my current house after living in and cluttering it up for 8 years).

Although the bucket list is great, I don’t think a bucket list makes a realistic basis for your  New Year’s resolutions. New Year’s resolutions should be obtainable, maybe even immediate. Let’s face it, if you resolve to lose weight and you don’t see an inch of that flab moving within 2 weeks, your chances of giving up are seriously high. You’ll find yourself with your butt hanging out of the pantry, stuffing bags of your kid’s Teddy Grahams in your mouth and sobbing. No, that has never happened to me. Maybe with Fig Newtons…..

So the solution to creating and keeping New Year’s Resolutions appears to be: Aim Low. As in things you can accomplish in your PJ’s whilst you sit on your couch without even having had a shower that day.

With that in mind, here are a few New Year’s resolutions that are quick, realistic, and might just have you feeling a bit more accomplished somewhere along the way this year:

Get more quiet time to yourself

Quiet: That elusive state where people aren’t yelling, playing video games, or asking you for a sandwich. Its a given that you will forego quiet when raising kids, and you won’t be pursue it that much because, a. Life is busy, and b.Nursing homes are quiet, and we want to enjoy our kids while we are all young and able bodied enough to enjoy them. Quiet can wait.

But a lack of quiet means a lack of thinking clearly. So even if you have to crawl into the corner of your closet (I’m a big fan of closets) for 10 minutes while the kids watch a video or you can go for a run without blaring music in your ears, just sitting still and being quiet will actually energize you.Then you can get back to the chaos with a clear mind.

Make your kids do more chores

I remember filling the dishwasher when I was about 12, thinking it was a really lame job. I held that belief until I got a job at the local drug store making cotton candy, and then, as I picked bits of cotton candy out of my shellacked 1980′s hair, I knew that filling the dishwasher wasn’t lame at all.

You might not think it, but kids do like to help out if it’s put to them the right way. Suggest little jobs like picking up the toys, dusting, or folding socks (I despise folding socks, so I get the kids to do it all the time. Otherwise, I leave everything in a huge basket and they have to pick through it to find socks for school). If your kids do more around the house, you have more time for other things.

Buy something you’ve always wanted

Time passes, life is fleeting, etc.etc.etc. Honestly, if you can afford to buy something you really, really want, why put it off? Maybe it’s a brand new camera with all the bells and whistles, or a new wardrobe that doesn’t involve t shirts and jeans with holes in them. Or it’s a year’s worth of plane tickets to somewhere sunny. If it makes you feel good, buy it. And if you can’t afford it, start plotting to find a way that you possibly could. When you finally do have whatever you want in your hot little hands, you’ll either feel really good or have buyers remorse anyway. At the very least, you’ll have accomplished a New Year’s Resolution so that has to stand for something.

See, it’s easy. Just set some realistic goals and get to work.

For me, I prefer to aim high, because aiming high will change your life. So hopefully by the end of 2012 we will find that the 2012 doomsday theorists have gone on to live where ever Harold Camping is currently hiding out, and I will be happily trying to figure out if llamas are really intelligent animals or simply just large, hairy poop factories like their goat counterparts. I’ll also have been to Disneyland at least 4 times and finished one novel and a short story that my daughter is desperately waiting for.

I wish you a happy and prosperous New Year that will exceed even your lowest expectations.